One thing I sometimes worried about when I was pregnant for the second time, was that this child wouldn’t get as much love and attention as our first one. I know many moms foresee that for their second baby and I was no different. And even though I was reassured many times that you’ll love the second one just as much, I just couldn’t imagine anything coming close to what I feel for Henrik..
While every tiny step in Henrik’s baby life was huge to me (‘love, Henrik held his foot!!’), I expected that I couldn’t be as excited the second time around. But now that Stella’s here, I know I was wrong. The moment Stella was born felt just as special – giving birth is such an intense and unique experience that it will never ever not feel special, no matter how many kids you have. When I held her for the first time, there was just as much love for her as for Henrik, what a relief :-). Also, it’s been three years since I had a newborn and one tends to forget – so I’m in awe with tiny hands, feet, nose.. well, tiny everything all over again.
This week, she smiled for the first time. And oh my, it just felt so special all over again. I had anxiously been waiting for that smile, and my face muscles had to endure a lot of smiling while trying to get her to smile :-). Don’t ask me why, but when it takes longer than the average time for my kids to do something, I start to worry that they will never do it. So when Stella smiled for the first time, a bit awkwardly like tiny babies do, my heart melted. And my face muscles continue to ache with my continuous efforts to get more smiles out of her haha.
So now I am sure that I don’t have to worry for her to feel less special than her big brother to me. Her first tooth, her first time eating solids, her first step, her first ‘mama!’ – all her firsts will make me feel like having a party to celebrate them.