So today was my due date, but I cannot share a pregnancy update – I didn’t make it to 40 weeks. I am not pregnant anymore and officially the mother of two (!) children. My midwife was right after all and I didn’t make it to my beauty day on Tuesday. Our baby girl Stella decided it was time to get to know each other last Sunday, and I can’t believe it’s already been a week. Even though I had expected to be pregnant at least for a few more days, I was also more than ready. The last days often felt as I was carrying a bowling ball (and moving accordingly) and I started to get grumpy.
Stella didn’t only surprise me with her arrival date, but also with the fact that she’s a girl. As mentioned before in a blog post, we didn’t know the sex until the very moment that I held her in my arms for the first time. Nevertheless, I was quite certain we would welcome a little brother for Henrik. So yes, I still have moments where I look at her thinking.. You’re a girl, I have a daughter now! Not that it’s that much of a difference (for now): Just like Henrik was, she’s a beautiful tiny newborn who drinks like a champion, fills her diapers and just looks and smells like the most precious thing in the world.
The first week with a newborn baby feels like the best and the worst at the same time to me. I’m overwhelmed with the happiness that this little human brings us. I could stare at her forever, and it’s just fascinating that while she was in me just a few days ago, she’s already her own little person. Until last week, I thought that the toddler age is my favourite. Henrik is just so funny and loving and playful.. Now, I think his age is great, but the newborn age is just as good. A tiny soft person to cuddle, everything on her is tiny and still so complete.
Just like with Henrik, I find it amazing how she knew how to drink so quickly, protesting impatiently at feeding time and drinking with a passion that’s just endearing. And here’s where one point of the worst week aspect lies for me: I am thankful that breastfeeding works very well for me and both my children gained weight rather than losing it straight after birth. But my personal downside is that I have milk for triplets until my body realizes that it’s just that one baby. Next to that, there’s the afterpains (that get worse with the second and every next child, oh yes) that make you re-live part of child birth. So while I am thinking I’ve done my job last Sunday and should just get to enjoy the result of it, my body gets to experience some extra aches and it just doesn’t make sense to me.
And then there’s me wanting to go outside and run around (adrenaline still dancing through my body I guess) and just get into normal life as quickly as possible. There’s friends and family visiting to see the new addition to our family, telling about their outside world activities while I feel like an anchoress, wrapped up in her baby bubble. And of course there’s my Henrik, going to the zoo, the museum and the market with his dad, while I rest and hope he doesn’t forget that he’s actually a mommy’s boy, ha :-). There’s a nurse working at our house for seven days, telling me to rest and not letting me even make a coffee. And I know she’s right and that we’re spoiled in Holland with that help for a whole week in our own home. But still, while I am happy with the help, I am also looking forward to next week, having our house to ourselves again and getting to figuring this mother of two thing out step by step.
For now, it’s taking things slowly, looking at my daugther who is growing each day already, looking at my son getting used to his big brother role, and the biggest weekend adventure being our very first stroll outside with Stella safely wrapped in the baby carrier…